Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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