Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize