One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize