Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize