I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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