come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize