butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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