need another drink. this is the easiest way
...so i touched it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Everyone says I win the strip club
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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