I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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