dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think weed is turning my hair brown
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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