i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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