So drunk its hurt
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
soo... how was my night?
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