Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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