the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
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You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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