Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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