Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
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Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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