yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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