Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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