I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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