why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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