just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've blown a few things in my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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