you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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