It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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