At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize