I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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