you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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