Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
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At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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