I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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