I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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