I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
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That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I touched a dick in church today
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