I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize