I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize