90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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