He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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