The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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