I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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