The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize