we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
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the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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