I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm always down for nudity.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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