i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
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Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
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Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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