I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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