Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
God, I missed his penis.
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