I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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