I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
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I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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