Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize