he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
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