Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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