My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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