I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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