I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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